‘Sex With Humans Is Boring’ – Woman Explains Why She Enjoys Love Making With Elves.

A woman has confessed she has sex with elves, revealing they have “glittery” sperm and are “very flexible”. Hallgerdur Hallgrimsdottir, who said she was an elf sex expert and has even written a book called Please YoursELF, boasted she had “loads of orgasms” while enjoying love-making with elves.

“Sex with humans is boring,” the Icelandic artist told a video interview with Vice.

“Elves sort of know what you want in bed. They don’t need to ask what you want, they can read your mind and maybe even know better of what you want than you do which is very incredible.”

She was full of praise for elves’ nimble bodies.

“They are very flexible so can use potions which would not be possible as human beings,” Hallgerdur recounted.

Showing a book of elf sex positions, she said: “This is a picture of one of the crazy positions that an elf can do.”

In it the elf is bent over backwards, his head facing skywards.Of another, she said: “He’s standing up and she’s sort of up with her feet on his shoulders. “He’s performing oral sex on her. “They have incredible tongues.”

Size isn’t an issue with elves, she added. “With elves, size doesn’t matter.”

And that isn’t the only impressive thing about them – because they have shiny sperm.

She explained: “Elf sperm is quite shimmery, glittery.”

And making love to an elf won’t leave you wanting.

“You will definitely have an orgasm with a elf,” she said. “I’ve had loads of them.”

Comments

Nigerian Army Intercepts 37 Wives And Children Of Boko Haram Terrorists

The Nigerian army said on Wednesday, that it had intercepted 37 people 37 people , who were suspected to be wives and children of the boko haram terrorists. The army spokesman, Brig.-Gen. Sani Usman, said in a statement that 30 of the escapees, which comprises of eight women and 22 children, were intercepted on Tuesday at Gujba Local Government Area of Yobe. He said; “On preliminary interrogation, the suspects claimed to have escaped from Boko Haram terrorists’ custody at Kafa and Abagajiri villages in Damboa Local Government Area of Borno,’’ The army spokesman added that seven other people were intercepted on Tuesday, at Kamunya, Yobe state. “They claimed that they escaped from Boko Haram terrorists’ hideout at Goropcha village, Damboa Local Government Area of Borno. “Both sets of escapees are currently being screened and profiled,’’ he said.

Photos: What Juliet Ibrahim wore to the #AMVCA2017 nominees announcement

Juliet Ibrahim donned this beyond-alluring asymmetric dress by @afifimmacouture to the 5th Annual AMVCA 2017 Nominees announcement. The outfit which accentuated her famous curves was perfectly matched with her braids in an elegant bun style and her face beat to perfection by @shogemakeovers . More photos after the cut... Credit Makeup @shogemakeovers Dress: @afifimmacouture

“I can go naked for $500 million”– Nollywood actor Enyinna Nwigwe

Award winning Nollywood actor and producer, Enyinna Nwigwe in a recent interview, disclosed some secrets about himself and one of which is, he can go nude for a movie role. He also revealed that he has never had a sugar mummy, but he is open to dating an older woman. When asked if he would date a sugar mummy, he said; “No. I would rather date an older person” When asked if he would go naked for $500 million, he said; “I can go naked for $500 million. Truth be told, I know what you are hiding behind your clothes. I am sure you know mine. For guys, it is a bit tricky because we come in different sizes…. $500 million can change lives, I can help lives”

ELVIS BLOG

Search This Blog