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What women wished men knew

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Low libido. It happens to  a lot of men and women, but few want to talk about it. Men don’t like to talk about it, and it’s not a favourite topic with women. But loss of libido in men or inhibited sexual desire in women stresses marriages more than any other sexual dysfunction.


Love-gone-sour
One night when Tolu got home from a romantic dinner with Yinka, his wife, candles were burning in their bedroom and soft music playing in the background. “I had taken a few drinks and the atmosphere was right for intimacy. Yinka, who had set up the room as a surprise, was undressed and ready for action in a flash, but I suddenly realized I wasn’t ready. I just wanted to lie down and go to sleep.

“It was not that I was drunk or suffered ‘power failure’; I just wasn’t in the mood for sex. Yinka and I have what could pass as an average sex life, so it was difficult explaining the situation to her. She didn’t find it funny because it was not the first time such would happen. In fact she got very angry and refused to speak to me for a long time. “

This confession from Tolu, a 40-year-old father of two children and husband of a 38-year-old woman is not unusual. Physical issues that can cause low libido include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological issues can include depression, stress, and problems in a relationship.

Gbenro, a technician told Saturday Vanguard that after menopause, his wife’s sexual appetite doubled unexpectedly. The 55-year-old recounted that Sarah, his 52-year-old wife and mother of four grown children had suddenly become “a tigress in bed” in recent times, following her post-menopausal status.

“To be honest I used to consider myself as someone with a high sex drive, and my wife used to complain that I was too demanding. But that was when we were still having children. Now things have changed. She has stopped having periods, but she is more sexually active than ever and I am the one now complaining because I can’t keep up with her demand,” he said.



Sexual aversion

Long before Tracy was diagnosed with endometriosis (a disorder that affects women in their reproductive years), her life had turned permanently around for the worse. She and Mike, her husband have been married just two years, but their marriage is already in major trouble because she has a low sex drive and doesn’t at all want to be intimate.

There’s a part of Tracy that’s afraid to get intimate. She has just one word to describe sex – painful. Her aversion for sex is steeped in pain, excruciating pain every time she engages in penetrative sex. She suffers regularly with painful symptoms and bleeding and her situation seems to be hopeless.

“I hate to have sex as much as I fear to have sex,” Tracy told her doctor one day. “I feel like my world is falling apart because of this. I feel so horrible after sex,” she admitted, pointing out that it’s not that her husband cannot “please” her. “I just don’t like sex,” she admitted.

Data from research suggests that 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction, surprisingly; it is a topic many people, especially women, are hesitant or embarrassed to discuss. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages but in women, many factors can contribute to low libido. These include a lack of desire, hormonal changes, medical conditions and treatments, depression, pregnancy, stress, and fatigue. Boredom with regular sexual routines also may contribute to a lack of enthusiasm for sex, as can lifestyle factors, such as careers and the care of children.



Why men suffer low sex drive

Although it contradicts all the cultural beliefs of “manliness”, men can lose their libido. As a matter of fact, low sexual desire in men is probably one of the world’s best kept “open” secrets. Everybody knows o

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